How To Deal With A Difficult Teen
It may just seem like yesterday when your child was happy and bubbling with stories to tell you about school. Now, your child is a teenager, and you see changes in his personality that are making him moody and reclusive. Sometimes, he may get angry at you over the smallest things. Raising a teenager can be tough because of the emotional transition that you child is going through. If you need some help through this phase, read the following article for some solid advice.
If you think back far enough, you can probably remember what it was like for you when you were growing up as a teen. Remember the conflicts that you had with your parents? You probably spent more time in your room than out talking to your parents. Your teenage child is going through the same emotional phase. He is trying to discover who he really is as an individual, and not from the perspective as your child. He is discovering his own independence.
The most important thing you can do for your child is to be there to listen to him whenever he needs you. Avoid passing judgment or doling out advice. Sometimes he may just want to tell you what is bothering him without your interference. You will get a signal when he is asking for guidance or direction. First, you have to understand how he feels before you help him find a solution. He does not want you to solve his problems, but he needs your support.
It is critical that you understand that even when he seems to be avoiding you, he really does not want you to go away. Be there to support him. Try not to pry or pepper him with questions. Just keep an eye on him and his behaviors. Keep your tone non-judgmental.
It may cause you to feel insecure to give him the freedom that he wants, but you need to take this step. If you have brought him up with good values and had modeled responsible behaviors, you have to trust him that he will make the right choices. Even if he makes a mistake, he has to experience the consequences himself. So, let him learn from his mistakes.
Try not worry about every little thing. Pick your battles. As long as your child is not making choices that will endanger himself, let him find his way, even if you feel like he is doing it the hard way.
If you want your child to trust you, you have to trust him as well. Respect his privacy. He knows how you have brought him up all these years. He has a sense of right and wrong. Trust him to make the right choices.
The teenage years are hard on your child as well as yourself. Just take things day by day, and love your child unconditionally. This phase will pass. When you give your child the trust and independence that he seeks, he will love you more for it.